Sometimes, you just need a good laugh. Haha. Love SNL.

“Yes, my son.”

“The fire and wood are here, but where is the lamb for the burn offering?”

“God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.”

And two of them went on together. When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.

Though not recorded, I imagine the next conversation as this.

“Father?”

“Yes, my son.”

“Is there nothing that He can’t ask of you?”

“Nothing. My son.  Nothing.”

How can a man come to this point of obedience and sacrifice?

When our hearts understand that we are saved by Grace alone – not by any of our works but by grace which came from the Father who did not withheld His Son His only Son – then there’s nothing that He can ask of us.

One lesson that I’m learning these days is that what’s more important than learning to die to myself and living for Christ is that I must first receive His grace and be fueled by it.  Because love driven by grace works harder.

Calvin wrote in his Institute (1.2.1): “Until men feel that they owe everything to God, that they are cherished by his paternal care, and that he is the author of all their blessings, so that nought is to be looked for away from him, they will never submit to him in voluntary obedience.”

My voluntary obedience and surrender must be driven by grace.  

Because love always work harder.

Always.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to build a true gospel based community.   Today’s sermon by PPO shed some light on this: that as a member of a gospel community, I’m called to be “wow”ed by Christ and faithfully express that “wow.”
Because a gospel community is a result of worship.

As I genuinely encounter Christ with all of myself (eyes, lips, ears, & heart) uniquely in the ways that He has formed and shaped me, only then can I express and reflect a bit of Christ’s glory back to Him and to my community.  And as each believer faithfully expresses Jesus in him/her, the body of Christ is built through our mutual sharing.

In Isaiah’s heavenly vision, the seraphims were crying “Holy, holy, holy” to one another. And I believe that we too are also called to encounter Christ and loudly proclaim – as best as we can – the  unique qualities of Christ to one another:

“Forgiving, forgiving forgving!” “Compassionate, compassionate compassiont!”

“True, true, true”  “Just, just, just!” “Righteous, righteous, righteous!”

And though our cries may be faint and flawed – the collection of these unique, diverse cries offered up in faith will picture the whole glory of Christ in our community (church, work places, neighborhoods, families, small groups, ) and the body of Christ will be fleshed out to take its form.

And it all begins with being Wowed.

For sometime now as I followed the MacWorld expos, I could see Steve Jobs sharing a small glimpse of this joy in the creation/updates of his products.  Though I’m not aware of any expressed Christian faith in Mr. Jobs’ life, because he is a creation made in God’s image – though marred in every aspect by the fall – he was able to display a glimpse of God’s character and quality through the common grace, which is offered to all creation.  And boy did he display those qualities!

IMHO, I  gotta say that there was something about the Apple products that are out of ordinary.  They are so technically functional yet so aesthetically pleasing and intuitively consistent – that a toddler would be attracted by it and can fumble their way into working  a personal commuter/smartphone/tablet.

And yes, as many old folks have posted, my very first computer was an Apple.  A big clunky one.  Unwanted one, because it was a birthday gift that I didn’t ask for and it was my parents attempt to turn me into a geek – which they have succeeded – but nevertheless, I fell in love and there’s no going back.  I’ve been a loyal owner of every Apple product line except the IPad.

(Btw, it was sobering to find something that I owned in my childhood to end up in a museum.)

In the span of past  some 30 years, the transformation that took place in the personal computing world is just unbelievable.  And through its constant changes, a small company called Apple has become an innovative mainstream company that is now setting the bar.   And it is remarkable how the vision and commitment of one man can bring about such difference.

If you haven’t take some time to read Jobs’ commencement speech given at Stanford in 2005.

But here’s a paragraph that challenged me:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Steve Jobs understood Genesis 3:10.  That we are naked. And perhaps, this realization drove him to excellence – knowing his limitation and temporariness as a creation.  So he gave his best in doing what he loved the most with the time that he had.  But  I wonder how Mr. Jobs’ life would be different if he realized Genesis 3:21.  That God desires to cover the nakedness of His people. That our Creator is in the business of renewing His fallen creation in Christ.   One can only wonder.

But all that to say, thanks Mr. Jobs for leaving an indelible mark on the digital world and in my life.

Yesterday, I made a brief trip to Chicago to attend a very blessing wake service of a beloved and respected first generation Korean pastor.  There’s something special about a believer’s funeral service that helps you to see the gospel clearly in the light of tragedy and challenges you to chart the course of your own life by what is truly important.  But during yesterday’s service, another aspect gripped my heart.  It was a pastor who passed away.

As I heard the faithful testimonies of his beloved family, I pondered how I would love my family as a pastor.

As I heard about his very difficult immigrant ministry, I wondered if I would be faithful until the end.

As I heard about the health that greatly deteriorated, I questioned if I can still be joyful in all circumstances without being bitter at life’s loss that are fully under God’s sovereign control.

At the end of my life, what will be said about my life, what will be remembered by my loved one, and what fruit will remain?

I mentioned in my last blog that I’ve been thinking about my death a lot and I couldn’t quite figure out why.   I wasn’t thinking about the actual death  but “the end.”  But this trip helped me to point to the source of my contemplation. As I’m making a full transition into pastoral ministry – I had to carefully think about the end – the goal and result – before I could fully devoted myself.  For me, I can’t take a step forward without seeing the end – not a concrete end – but a vision or a direction that’s worthwhile.

Yet, yesterday was a great reminder that timing and events in life are often beyond our ability to measure and control.  The very things that we love and strive for in this life – resources, respect, rewards, and relationships in life – will be gained and lost in this life.  But these thoughts that pointed to futility and frailty of ourselves gave me great comfort.

That I’m not supposed to figure out all things.  I shouldn’t worry about how life would unfold.  But just as I have been going through different stages of life –  correction – just as God’s been leading me through different stages of life – I’m called place my confidence in our God who faithfully provide what is best for us eternally.

” ‘Let not your heart be troubled,’ His tender word I hear, and resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears; though by the path He leadeth but one step I may see: His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me…”

Hold onto Jesus.  God’s eternal provision.  Our present joy and final reward.

In my faith journey so far, I learned that God often allows struggles and difficulties to take place in a believer’s life so that “the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”  During these moments when our hearts are pounded and we are absolutely broken, we must hold on to His grace, because when you persevere and tough it out, your entire person becomes refined like fine pearls – to reflect a portion of Christ more clearly and radiantly.

I also believe that there’s another kind of trial that takes place in a believer’s life. It’s the kind that you willingly walk through.   You refuse to take the wide road and you take a decisive step of faith in the uncharted narrow path.  Whether in obedience or  in search of His vision for your life – this type of chosen trial will let go of protecting and preserving “me” for the sake of choosing more of Christ.   This narrow path will be sweat/tear-stained, yet the growing joy of experiencing (even His suffering) and sharing more of Christ will keep one steady in his/her course.   So the command to “consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds”  no longer becomes an irrational command but one of opportunity for growth and grace – for you and for others who will be blessed in your spiritual toughness.   I was blessed to interact with these “tough” believers in the past 36 hours and their choices challenge me to place myself on the anvil of God, who graciously matures and completes our sanctification in Christ Jesus (James 1:3).

“When God wants to drill a man
And thrill a man
And skill a man,
When God wants to mold a man
To play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch His methods, watch His ways!

How He ruthlessly perfects
Whom He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which
Only God understands;

While his tortured heart is crying
And he lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks
When his good He undertakes;
How He uses whom He chooses
And with every purpose fuses him;
By every act induces Him
To try to splendor out –
God know what He’s about.”

]]> http://jimhandy.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/trials-of-many-kinds/feed/ 0 jimhandy 119021794 http://jimhandy.wordpress.com/2011/09/12/the-last-stop-in-rome/ http://jimhandy.wordpress.com/2011/09/12/the-last-stop-in-rome/#comments Mon, 12 Sep 2011 16:35:16 +0000 jimhandy http://jimhandy.wordpress.com/?p=495 ]]> It’s been a blessing/surreal/busy month getting adjusted back at Champaign, IL & at CFC.  But now that I am able to keep my head above  water, I’m writing out some thoughts that’s been on my mind for awhile.

07/23/2011 – My time in Rome was somewhat hectic visiting all the “must-see” places before the two and half days were up.  I was pretty worn out by the last day, but I was VERY eager to make the final stop at the Mamertine prison. Because this is where, allegedly, the apostle Paul was chained as a prisoner.

The Mamertine – Rome’s first maximum-security prison – is not to be confused with Paul’s first imprisonment, which was a house arrest for two years. But the second time Paul was incarcerated, it was in the basement of this prison and he faced his execution.

At that time, many believers have deserted Paul (2 Timothy 1:15; 4:10, 16) and Paul has begun his trial and no one has defended him (4:16).  In this cellar, expecting that his death would come soon, Paul writes a “farewell” letter to his beloved spiritual son Timothy, who was pastoring at Ephesus.  Even though this final letter is filled with exhortations and encouragements for Timothy, you can also find much of Paul’s needs and longings.

You can clearly sense that the aged fragile apostle is at the end of his life and he is lonely. And he longs to see his good friend one last time.  So in both 2 Timothy 4:9 and 4:13, Paul urges Timothy to “do your best to come to me soon.”   Being a devoted pastor, Paul understood that his request would put an indefinite halt in Timothy’s ministry in Ephesus.  And Paul probably knew that his public association with Timothy would put Timothy’s life in danger.   Yet he makes a desperate request to see Timothy one last time and Paul asks him to bring a few things (4:13):
   “When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments.”

At the Mamertine, as I was led down to a small dungeon, I began to understand the urgency in Paul’s request. Even though it was a hot mid-summer day, the cellar was much cooler, dark, and damp.  When I touched a stonewall, it was moist as if the morning dew had settled on it.  And it was understandable why Paul asked for the cloak.  It wasn’t necessarily that the place was cold, but the dampness in the air prevented the old saint from drying out and he could not get warm.

I felt much sympathy for the old apostle in his desperate situation, but as I reflected on how God sovereignly inspired and used Paul – even in his weak and desperate condition – to write the Word of God, I was humbled.   Truly, our God does not waste one drop of our suffering that is surrendered for His glory.

So here, Paul’s request for the second set of items is also understandable. Paul asks Timothy to bring  “the books, and above all the parchments.”   These parchments and writings could have been legal documents or sentimental writings, but many commentators suspect that these were OT books in Greek.  So although Paul is expecting to die soon, he is still concerned about getting his “books and parchments,” because he longed to continue to work for the sake of the gospel until he gave out his last breath.

Not sure why, not to sound morbid, but I have been thinking about my own death – my final moments here on earth – for the past 24 hours. Maybe it was P.Min’s sermon yesterday. Maybe it was the I’m Second video. But it’s still being processed on my mind, but one strong conviction for now is that I want to share in the faithfulness and longing of the old saint and be able to say these words:

“For  I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my  departure has come.   I have fought the good fight,  I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Henceforth there is laid up for me  the crown of righteousness, which the Lord,  the righteous judge, will award to me on  that Day, and not only to me but also to all  who have loved his appearing.”   ~ 2Timothy 4:6-8

I’m specially thankful to my aunt & uncle for paying for the airfare and Eurorail pass.  Their generosity just amazes me.

As I’m processing each experience slowly, I hope that these streams of thoughts & floods of emotions would lead to convictions that would lead to a greater heart, which would enable me to love & serve Jesus.  So for the next few weeks, I will be blogging short entries more frequently.

For the past couple years, when Spring comes around, I’ve been going to  random motorcycle dealers to test drive their bikes for a few hours.

I may repeat it again this weekend.